Sunday, September 25, 2011

I'm Alive and College Life Question

Again, lost all motivation to blog =/

This semester:

  • Frameworks Accounting (introduction to intermediate)
  • Individual Taxation Accounting
  • Cost Accounting
  • Business Law & Ethics
Needless to say those have been giving me a headache :( not to mention I did quite poorly on my first Frameworks exam :(

I've been sick during this entire midterms week which is just so unfair >=( I lost so many days of study time bc I was in bed sleeping or having a headache. I'm better now but still have too much flem in my throat :(

I'd like to talk and ask yall bout something.

How often do yall go out each weekend? As a college student, I feel like I've been "missing out" on college life.

You know what I do? I sit at home all day and I MAYBE go out ONCE a month (sometimes more if my HW/study load is lighter), but really so far into every semester, I go out once a month(at most) and that's usually hanging out at my friend's house for a few hrs to talk or maybe a bit of shopping.

Seems like everyone usually goes out for a round of drinks or clubbing after midterms? Or rather, I see pictures up on facebook almost EACH week of new going-out pics. Am I just a hermit crab?!? I'm not a clubbing person. I've been to clubs before and it's not my thing. I'd rather go to a bar, CHILL, sit there and talk and giggle and have a good time. Sure I like dancing, but I don't like the idea of those nasty guys creepin up behind you and it's too party scene for me. I rarely drink at all if any anyway but I think it'd be nice to after midterms or something?

And really, the hanging out doesn't need to be that. I feel like I don't go out enough. To be fair, I am quite shy and I'm pretty scared of meeting a lot of people because I'm scared they'll invite me to a million other things and I'd get overwhelmed. I'm also scared they'll be irresponsible people. And the last thing I want is drama so I'm scared of meeting new people because I don't know if the girls will get catty or some person wants to ask me for all my notes in class while they didn't attend class etc. I know I'm being paranoid but that has happened to me a lot and I want to avoid it :( I've just had bad experiences with meeting people I guess. I have been fortunate this semester to meet a few other good ones though.

I'm also quite socially awkward around people. I've tried hanging out with people before and I don't kno what it is about me, but I'm just WEIRD!?!?? Like, no words come out of my mouth right. My jokes are LAME as can be and I just don't keep up with reality TV shows to talk about them nor do I read that much and no one really wants to talk bout books anyway I think :( . Everyone always wants to talk about "fun" things such as "gossip" and hilarious jokes and funny stuff they see online.

I'm sorry but I honestly get pretty bored with that kind of conversation. It gets dry fast. And if anyone has ever hung out with me, they'll notice I'm quiet and don't start up the conversation much. Why? Because the conversation is boring and I don't feel like responding. Those types of conversations are just smile-and-nod kinds; nothing engaging like an intellectual conversation where you question how things are or why things work, new discoveries, history, science etc.

Everytime I try to bring up engaging topics like that, people complain and are like "ah man stop talking bout SCHOOL stuff, I've had enough of that. I went out tonight to have some FUN" Um I'm sorry but my definition of fun isn't gossiping 24/7 or complaining bout that girl who took your man. I want a discussion and I want to see people's points of views and learn something. I still love my shopping and "omg that dress is so cute!" and talking bout some "gossip" per se of all the happenings going on, but overall, you really can only say so much of that before you run out of "news" to deliver, if you get what I mean.

Also, those kinds of conversations turn into rants or anything negative, you know what I mean? I know a lot of guys look at girls and think we complain too much, and I'd have to agree. I often hear girl groups go like "omg so like this weekend, that guy was just SO ughhh I couldnt stand it. And you KNOW he blah blah and I thought it was just HILARIOUS". Why not bring something interesting up?

I think maybe that's why I cant hang out? I don't know??? Because whenever I do, I just feel so uncomfortable. Everyone talks bout the other night that they drank and had a good time, or talks bout that awesome birthday party, or going to another city for the weekend to meet up with some friends. And...I don't do that???

I game sure, but the last thing I want to do is bring that up to a guy, who is probably the gamer, not the girls there. And gamer girls get a lot of attention and I don't want that. I don't want guys creeping up on me and just befriending me just because I game here and there (and not to mention I'm a pretty sucky player!)

I just feel like I've done just about NOTHING with my college life. Barely any girls night out either? (maybe because I don't have that many friends in the first place lol). This is supposed to be the time of my life. And I know this is partially because I don't dorm. I can't. I live in a commuter school where you go to school and come home, so it isnt nearly as easy to socialize and you have to travel across town to hang out with anyone.


blah. This is my last year of college too. I hope some happiness and life happens


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