Monday, June 18, 2012

just needed to talk

no beauty post here.

you know what I don't like? When people ask you how are you doing and you're SUPPOSED to say you're doing well/good/etc despite that you're suffering. I don't like lying so it makes me kinda cringe just giving a smile saying "great!" when I feel like crap.

I don't think I've mentioned this, but I have Anxiety and I'm trying to get off my meds because before I started meds, I was better off actually. Before I never had anxiety. I was being treated for something else and then those medicines created my anxiety. Now I'm trying to ween myself off slowly but it's been very difficult for me.

My doctor has put me on every medication possible to try to solve my anxiety but I think it just made things worse. Seems like it made my body go haywire further because of how many times my body had to adjust to new medicine.

So I'm going absolutely nuts each day. It has affected my daily life. I no longer am as social because my anxiety kicks in if I stay with people too long. I no longer enjoy things I used to, such as blogging, among other things. Hell I can't even get a job now after I have graduated because of this anxiety. It has corrupted my life and I don't know what to do.

Have any of you ever or still have anxiety? How do you cope with it? Oh, and people, please don't tell me "oh everyone feels anxious every now and then! Just RELAX"

No. This will piss me off. No, if it were THAT simple to "just relax" then I wouldn't need medication or need this heavy of help.

I wish I could be mentally normal, free of this disorder.

For those of you who don't have anxiety or any disorder at all, consider yourselves blessed and very lucky. I'd give so much to be without this disorder. I actually have two disorders, but I prefer not to name the other one.

I guess that's it for now. I'll get going. Thank you for reading my complaining

See yall later


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